Today I wanted to touch on a topic of magic that in my opinion is greatly underappreciated: flavor text.
Flavor text gives a card depth and brings the art to life. They save our beautiful pieces of cardboard from the dull existence that surrounds that of a chess piece. Without flavor text and art, cards would be nothing more than tools used to play a game of Magic. Instead, we are able to live in a world where flavor text can serve as a much needed comedic relief from the grind that is competitive Magic. In this article I’ll go over my ten favorite flavor texts, and a few that were close but didn’t make the list. There’s thousands to choose from and I’m sure I left someones favorite off, but I feel like I have at least something on here for everyone.
For a moment, objects of pure mana glimmered in the wonderstruck boggart’s hands. In the next moment, they were in his mouth, as he chewed contentedly.
“Well, at least all of that arm-waving and arcane babbling you did was impressive.”
“Day 31: I finally succeeded in my time reversal experiment!
“Day 30: I might have a problem here.”
—Journal of the Prime Izmagnus
7. Gorilla Titan
“I want a banana this big!”
6. Enormous Baloth
Its diet consists of fruits, plants, small woodland animals, large woodland animals, woodlands, fruit groves, fruit farmers, and small cities.
“It was probably a lousy spell in the first place.”
—Ertai, wizard adept
4. Wheel of Torture
“I’d like to buy a bowel.”
3. Cunning Strike
“The opponent who blocks the path, becomes the path.”
—Shu Yun, the Silent Tempest
2. Fodder Cannon
Step 1: Find your cousin.
Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon.
Step 3: Find another cousin.
Turns out coffee is the weird aunt of invention.
Goblin Balloon Brigade (both versions)
“From up here we can drop rocks and arrows and more rocks” “Uh, yeah boss, but how do we get down?”
“The enemy is getting too close! Quick! Inflate the toad!”
“Of course I’m sure I’ve gone mad. The little man who crawled out of my eye was quite clear on this.”
1. Back to Basics
“A ruler wears a crown while the rest of us wear hats, but which would you rather have when it’s raining?”
Comment below or tweet at me if there are any that you love that I missed, or if you have a different top 10 that you think it should be. Will be making a follow up list in the future, and anything you guys add will be greatly appreciated!